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Government: Cocky and Getting Hard on AODA

By Victor Schwartzman 
July 15, 2013

News from the Government on AODA! 

Minister Eric Hoskins held a media conference this week and opened by telling journalists that “Our media conferences have failed to communicate our plans on AODA effectively. 

In hindsight, charades was a mistake.  We thought it was good because it resembled our information approach.  Clearly we need a new approach, one which better reflects the Government’s plans for AODA and it’s whole philosophy regarding AODA, advocates and the community. 

“So from this day on,” Minister Hoskins continued, “I am pleased to announce that instead of charades, I will provide information on AODA through double entendres.  So here we go. 

“We were cocky. 

AODA was thrust into businesses and services because society had dry holes needing grease and AODA was the lube.  We never claimed AODA guaranteed people with disabilities would score a home run.  However, the Government has made progress, and has gotten to second base, feeling our way along.  Think of your Government as a carpenter with a big screwdriver trying to screw AODA as best it can.   

“Will we appoint a new Independent Review, given we’re two months past the deadline? 

As the actress said to the Bishop, I can offer you many positions. 

We have a position on each aspect of the AODA situation. 

We want Government and business to come together.  We’re getting behind AODA and won’t bugger
it up.”  

Minister Hoskins then added, “Judging from your faces, I can see that double entendres are not having the desired effect.  How can I communicate with journalists? 

Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about the AODA form which confused ‘access’ with ‘Axis’.   

“Hitler and those Nazi people were very bad.  We all agree on that, of course.  German people are good.  Hitler was bad.  So how did Hitler take over Germany? 

There are lessons your Ontario Government can learn.   

“The Nazis ignored the laws when convenient.  They controlled the news and told people only what they should hear.  Today, none of that would happen.   

“That is because the Nazis used radio and movies and print.  Today we have cable tv and the internet.   

“As a final solution to the AODA problem, the Nazis had their own method of dealing with access issues.  Instead of addressing access, they addressed the groups of people who needed access, and created their own special definition of ‘access’.  They then found that the access problem was solved by having less people who needed access.     

“Access is expensive.  If less people need access, then we can afford more, right?  And Ontario has many groups of people who are very expensive because of their needs.  We must leave no rock unturned to ensure Ontario has no access problems by 2025.   

“My staff have mentioned youth in Asia, but I’m not sure what they meant.”    

Next: Ontario Plans New Way To Celebrate National Access Awareness Week