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Minister Hoskins: “AODA Delayed Because We Have No Balls”

By Victor Schwartzman  
July 29, 2013

The Ontario Government has been under fire for not implementing AODA legislation, with critics accusing it of not having the courage to implement AODA. 

The Ontario Government’s Minister responsible, Eric Hoskins, responded to these charges in a recent media conference. He denied the Government lacked the courage of its supposed convictions, and attributed the delays in AODA to something else.     

“The delay in proceeding with AODA or appointing a new Independent Review is solely because your Government does not have any balls.  Or, specifically, because its balls have not yet dropped.  

“We planned months ago to appoint a new Independent Review on AODA and announce the appointment of staff to implement the legislation.  To celebrate this step forward and mark the occasion, we hired a firm to create giant balls which would drop along a cable onto the podium.  It will be just like in Times Square at New Year’s.  Unfortunately, the Government’s balls have yet to drop properly, so we are unable to make any announcements.”     

“Will Premier Wynne ever get any balls?” a journalist asked.   

“I can tell you the Premier does not want or need balls.  However, they had already been ordered.  Premier Wynne has asked us to look into alternatives to having balls.  We want the public to know that our officials are working around the clock on this problem so we can proceed.”  

“Why don’t you proceed even if your balls are not in working order?”    

“That would be a waste of taxpayer dollars,” Minister Hoskins replied.  “The balls have been paid for already.  However, if the delay in the Government getting its balls continues, we have at the Premier’s request developed some alternatives to mark the occasion, but she does not like them either. 

We could display our guts, but that would be tasteless.  We could show our heart, but it is rather small.  And certainly no one wants to see our spunk.” 

“What about showing the public some true grit?”  

“We have that in the commissary, but I do not see the relevance.”  

Next:  The Lies Behind The Lies: Government AODA Conspiracy Revealed!