By Victor Schwartzman
August 11, 2013
Minister Eric Hoskins called a special media conference to explain why a new
Independent AODA Review and other aspects of the legislation have not been implemented.
“The delay,” Minister Hoskins told the journalists, “has been due to the discovery of a new prophecy by Nostradamus.
“The first edition of Nostradamus’ Les Propheties was in 1555. We thought there were no new prophecies, but a few months ago we were made aware of a new one. We would be foolish to ignore any prediction of the future which could guide us. In fact, listening to seers trying to predict the future is pretty much how we treated the entire AODA community consultation process.”
Minister Hoskins provided journalists with the prophecy:
In a land red blue and orange
the leaders are powerless
to help those in great need
until the Leafs win the Stanley Cup
The assembled journalists had questions. Minister Hoskins explained, “Clearly this is about Ontario today. We have had Governments which are Liberal, Conservative and NDP-red, blue and orange. And the line about our leaders being powerless to help people in great need? Is leaders not helping people what every election in Ontario has been about?
“But what made it so difficult is the reference to the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Stanley Cup.”
“Is that because,” one journalist asked, “it is a modern hockey reference written in 1555?”
“Of course not,” Minister Hoskins replied. “Nostradamus predicted the future. We would expect nothing less. It was what he did. Although we did find the level of detail unusual.”
“So you will not implement AODA until the Leafs win the Stanley Cup?”
Minister Hoskins confirmed this, noting “Sadly, the prediction appears to require us to extend the AODA deadline past 2025. We’re now thinking maybe 2050, depending on who coaches.”
“Is the prophecy which stopped AODA in the original book?”
“It was slipped under our door.” There were more questions, but Minister Hoskins left the building. Later it turned out Minister Hoskins had never
been in the building. The journalists had spoken to a holographic image. Like the Government on AODA, the image looked real but there was nothing underneath the surface.
Next: The Top Ten List Of Reasons Why AODA Implementation Is Being Delayed