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The AODA Raven

By Victor Edgar Allan Schwartzman
March 22, 2014

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over the sad pages of Ontario’s troubled access lore,
While I sat (without napping) suddenly there came a tapping,
As if a specter was gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“Tis some nuisance,’ I muttered, “rapping at my chamber door—
“A salesperson and nothing more.”

But it was not person with sales but a dark avenger to tip the scales
A grim enemy who now pounded at my chamber door,
Which burst open with loud crying and in then came a raven flying,
Who sat on Tommy Douglas’ bust sighing. And then, as if to even a score
It pooped, and pooped again on Tommy times three or four,
Saying, “AODA is nevermore.”

“No you are wrong,” I began declaiming against the raven’s dark defaming.
“AODA is alive. It is law and justice that is owed us and more.”
This raven then acted very weird. It tried so hard to get me scared.
“AODA was promised but impaired. Stopping it was our plan’s core.
“At first we meant well but now we must forget this law, and more.
“AODA is dead and nevermore.”

Seeing through this evil guise, I stood my ground and said “Surprise!
“I know you! And now you will be held to account as never before.
“I believe you are not a raven but actually a politician craven.
“For AODA you want no haven, just when it is ready to score.
“That is why you are here, but you cannot prevent what the future is for.
“Access will exist forevermore.”

The raven cried out angrily, coughed and then before me morphed
Into a familiar politician who I had seen many times before.
“Sorry,” Premier Wynne said, grinning, “but I am the one who is winning.
“AODA in its last inning, soon to be gone and off the floor.
“Sorry but doing actual access costs money and a whole lot more.
“So AODA must be nevermore.”

I replied to her with vigor, though as government she was much bigger,
Now pointing to my computer, webcam and her image on the monitor.
“The world has seen it. Now voters from it the truth can glean it.
“Access? Know we really mean it. Justice is what our society’s for.
“If the law you continue to ignore, it is fair we look for more.
“And next election, show you the door.”

And I saw that raven nevermore.

Next Week: The Tell Tale Heart!

Victor Schwartzman contributes this weekly satiric column to Accessibility News–nothing in these columns is true except what they are about. His graphic novel (where each chapter is one issue of a community newspaper) is serialized on the great Canadian lit site, www.redfez.net. He also contributes a monthly poetry review to www.targetaudiencemagazine.com. and does an on-air review monthly for the World Poetry Café on CFRO-FM in Vancouver. He has had poetry and short fiction published, and has edited novels. His email is vschwartzman@gmail.com.

Next Week: The Tell Tale Heart!

Victor Schwartzman contributes this weekly satiric column to Accessibility News nothing in these columns is true except what they are about. His graphic novel (where each chapter is one issue of a community newspaper) is serialized on the great Canadian lit site, http://www.redfez.net. He also contributes a monthly poetry review to http://www.targetaudiencemagazine.com. and does an on-air review monthly for the World Poetry Café on CFRO-FM in Vancouver. He has had poetry and short fiction published, and has edited novels. His email is vschwartzman@gmail.com.